I'm ok with 40%

This is my 3rd post in 3 days...can you tell I have a project I am doing (and blogging to distract myself)? Anyways, this blog is on a less spiritual note.

I have been spending a good amount of time at the Starbucks in Ft. Worth by TCU's campus, and I have noticed a few things. So, I have compiled a list of why I don't fit in here.

Top 10 reasons I don't fit in at TCU (or at least the Starbucks by it):

1. I don't own a fishing shirt
2. I don't have a Mac Book
3. I don't have Toms (even though this was on my Christmas list last year) or Sperry's
4. I don't have an iPhone...yet
5. The running shorts I wear are closer to my knees than, well, they're closer to my knees.
6. I don't wear a fishing shirt with my toms/sperry's and tights...only

Ok, so I don't have 10 reasons. I guess I fit in 40% of the time...but if I must wear a fishing shirt with tights, I don't think I want to.

Just saying.

*Please note that this blog was not written out of a comparison, coveting, or judgemental mindset. I checked my heart after writing this.

Favorite

If you know me, you probably know that I hate favorite questions...because I just don't know what my "favorite" anything is...especially on the spot. However, I think that this might be my favorite, yes I said it, song right now. I hope it blesses you, as it has me.

"The orphan clings to Your hand
Singing the song of how he was found
The widow rejoices
For her oppressors are silenced now

You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side

The runaway falls at Your feet
You are what he has searched for
The rich man is broken
When he stands beneath a sky full of stars

You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side"


I love hearing Bethany talk about writing this song...


"The Lord is rebuilding Jerusalem and bringing the exiles back to Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds."
-Psalms 147: 2-3

It's simple...right?

"Save your best striving for seeking my face. I am constantly communicating with you. To find Me and hear My voice, you must seek Me above all else. Anything that you desire more than Me becomes an idol. When you are determined to get your own way, you blot Me out of your consciousness. Instead of single-mindedly pursuing some goal, talk with Me about it. Let the Light of My Presence shine on this pursuit, so that you can see it from My perspective. If the goal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it. If it is contrary to My will for you, I will gradually change the desire of your heart. Seek Me first and foremost; then the rest of your life will fall into place, piece by piece. "

-March 8, Jesus Calling, Sarah Young

How come no one told me that seeking his face was going to be one of the hardest things I was ever going to do...and yet, one of the things I desire above all else. How does that work?

Ok, ok. Not simple, not easy, but desired. Lord, help this become the greatest overwhelming desire of my heart that it eventually becomes second-nature to me.

Thank you Hennighausen Christmas gift exchange for this wonderful book of truth. Love.

A Good Cry

You know how sometimes you just need to cry? And not just a few tears here and there, but really cry...tears streaming down your face, puffy eyes, red splotches on your cheeks kind of cry? That's a good cry. All of that pent up emotion and frustration and sadness comes pouring out of you and you just cannot control it...it feels good. Honestly, I enjoy a good cry every now and then...as long as I don't have to be near anyone.

Well, that's what happened to me today...at internship. Oops. But I just couldn't help it. That feeling of overwhelmedness, and that everything you are doing is wrong and everyone is blaming you (which is of course not what is true, but in that moment it is.)

But it was OK, I, thankfully, did not see anyone in those moment of breakdown. After a few minutes, I knew I wasn't going to recover. So, as useless as I was, I went home for "lunch" (as the note said on my supervisors desk.)

As soon as I was out of the parking lot the floodgates opened. I came home, put on some worship music, layed on my bed and cried.

It felt good.

I love it because it is in those moments where I recognize, I am so weak, I am so fallible, I am so useless...apart from Jesus.

I need him. I really need him. I think I need him more than most others.

Without him I don't know what I am doing. Oh, sure, I may pretend to know, but I recognize I need his guidance, I need his peace throughout the day, I need to know that no matter what happens I am safe in his arms, and I am secure in who he has created me to be. When I don't know this, I fall apart, as I did today.

But it is good, because it brings me back to a place of humility in knowing that I cannot do this on my own. I am not living for myself, but for Him and His Glory. And I can't reflect that when I don't remain in him.

So, thank you Lord for that reminder to remain in you today...and for not letting anyone at work see my puffy eyes filled with tears.

What constitues a friend?

Gracious, it has been almost 2 weeks since my last update, and that is not OK!

While I don't have much time to write, as it is almost 11:00 pm, I am tired, and my computer is about to die, I wanted to update to tell everyone I am alive and well and please keep checking my blog. I don't want to loose my 2 followers!!!

So, I leave you with this questions, rhetorical if you wish, what constitues a friend?


Someone who stays up to 2:00 in the morning just to celebrate your birthday? Someone who travels 400 miles to be with you?

Someone who encourages you to love and BE LOVED deeper than you ever have before?

Someone who shares their food with you just to spend time with you/let you spend time with them?

Someone who forgives you, even when you don't deserve it?


Someone who sits with you when you are covered in tears and snot?

Someone who tells you the truth, even when it is hard to hear?


Someone who sacrifices comfortable living spaces, just to be near to you?

I don't really know, and I don't really care. All I know,is that I love them.

Snow Day

Two weekeneds in a row I have been able to be surrounded by SNOW! I can't remember the last time that has happened! I have loved it! I have always loved snow, but living in Texas, I just never got to play in it. Yesterday, I was in heaven every time I looked out my window and saw the beautiful snow coming down so hard all day! At work yesterday, there was no work getting done. Everyone went out to the hill next to Gladney and went sledding down it on boxes, lids, trash bags, anything we could find. Even the President of Gladney was out there sledding down the hill. Along with our Legal Council (aka lawyer) who was leading the sledding pack in her FUR coat! I loved it. They ordered pizza for everyone for lunch and then we all went home early. My hours for internship might be a little short this week...sorry Terri.

The area behind Gladney...so pretty.

SLEDDING AT WORK! (I'm on the far right...someone stole my cardboard covered with a trashbag so I got stuck with the trachcan lid...it didn't work as well.)

Last one to make it down.

Building the snowman...the lawyer is the one in the fur to the left. :)


This morning when I woke up Paul said that Debi had been wanting to go out and play in the snow all morning, but they didn't want to wake me. So, when the sleepy head finally got up at 8:30, we went out and played in the snow. Snowball fights, snowman building, walks down the lane...it was so fun. Here are some picturs from the morning.

Here is the infamous Paul and Debi. I finally got a picture with them. Here they are with our "lawn man" (get it...he is in the lawn...)

Here we all are. :) Post snow ball fight.

Afterwards we came in and made waffles...like from scratch. I learned how to beat eggs until they are "stiff" and "fold" in something. Yummy!

The cozy fire we had going...I had to share because I love atmosphere...


Hope everyone is staying warm and dry! :)

DONDON

What does 14 hours in a car, 2 games of Clue, 4 incredible meals (one of which being DONDON, Laura's Japanese step-mother's restaurant), 2 plates of incredible Valentines Day cookies and a Japanese Strawberry Birthday cake, 1 Super Bowl, 1 dead animal in the trash can, 7 games of Killer Uno, 3 nights of going to bed way after midnight, 1 snowball fight, lots of running around in the snow, and lots and lots and lots and lots of laughter get you...


...ONE INCREDIBLE WEEKEND!!!


On Mass. Street in Lawrence, Kansas. Next to the trashcan with the dead animal...sick.

DONDON!!!

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY COURTNEY!!! (Cake made by Ikuko and Laura...Japanese style)

The YUMMY cookies Fox made. I think I ate all of these...hense the grueling 3 mile run today.

Clue game #1, where we found out we were missing the "Conservatory" card the hard way...

Eating at BRIO on the Plaza in Kansas City.

I must admit, I had never seen snow roll before! (Picture taken on Laura's practice soccer fields at Blue Valley Northwest High School...while we were trespassing. Shhh...)

FLYING IKUKO DOMINATING AT UNO

You know, just hanging out with the penguins...or something.

These people bring me so much joy and happiness...I wish it could have never ended! Alas, it had to, but I did learn a few things:

1. I love my friends.
2. Fox needs to move back to Texas. And she is also one big muscle.
3. Courtney and Sam are perfect for each other.
4. JC makes me think of Jesus when I look at her.
5. I LOVE SNOW! Texas needs to look like a winter wonderland all winter long.
6. I could eat those heart cookies all the time...and did this weekend.
7. I love my friends...had to say it again.
8. Long car rides are really fun...when people arn't sick.
9. You can only hear "What'cha say" so many times before never wanting to hear it again.
10. Taking work on trips like this is useless...it just doesn't happen.

Egypt 2012...here we come...