Crazy Love

A few weeks ago I had lunch with a girl form work and she mentioned she was reading this book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. I had never heard of it, but I thought it sounded good, so I made a mental note of it. The next week I was in a bookstore, and I saw the book on sale there, again making a mental note of it. This past weekend I was in Waco having a conversation with the Bonows and Matt asked me if I had read "Crazy Love"...ok God, I get it. Yes, I am that dense that you have to tell me something 3 times before I do it. Matt gave me the book and is letting me borrow it for a few weeks while I read it.


Page by page I become more enamored by God and convicted by the way I choose to live out my life. The chapter I am on now is entitled "Profile of the Lukewarm"...I know, right? Here are a few exerts:

LUKEWARM People don't want to be saved from their sin, they want to be saved from the penalty of their sin..."I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" John 10:10

LUKEWARM People rarely share their faith with people...they don't want to make people feel unfomfortable..."Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will also disown him before my Father in Heaven." Matthew 10:32-33

LUKEWARM People think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven. Daily life is focused much more on today's to-do list, this week's schedule, and next months vacation. Rarely, if ever, do they consider the life to come. Reguarding this, C.S. Lewis writes, "If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this." "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ." Phil. 3: 20

In my life, I so long for peace and comfort, but I think I get confused in thinking they are one in the same. Peace comes from the Father, from Jesus...the Prince of Peace. Comfort I try and seek out on my own, thinking it is something to be obtained..."If I could only have my own room...if I was 10 pounds lighter...if I had a higher paying job...if I was married...if I...then I would be comfortable, it would all be alright..." Not true.

Being lukewarm is comfortable to me. I don't want to be lukewarm. I want to be in love...crazily. Lord help me.

Ethan

This is Ethan. He is the second oldest of the 4 Bonow boys. I lived with the Bonow family for the past 4 years, and they are all very near and dear to my heart. Ethan will be 4 in March, and I remember when he was BORN! Crazy. Anyays, I love him. I love all of them. But these pictures made me smile today, so I thought I would share.


These were taken at a birthday party Courtney and I took him and Elijah (the 5 year old) to.

It warms my heart. Love you Bonows!

Truth

This morning I woke up and went out to get some coffee (a luxury that I have here in Ft. Worth, coffee with creamer made for me each day) and as I went out Paul was watching the news and told me about the second earthquake in Haiti. 

My heart dropped. I thought about Ben and Katie, and the team from Antioch that left a few days ago as relief workers, I thought about the people who have already been through so much devastation and loss... I got my coffee and went back to my room. 

As I sat on my bed, I started praying for all of the above, and the Lord brought to my mind Job. He was conflicted, torn to pieces, brought to devastation, and yet found peace and wholeness in the midst of it. Now, I'm not one of those people who typically just opens my bible and whatever page it falls on is where I read. However, in this instance, I opened my bible, looking for Job, and I opened it right to Job, chapter 42. The first words I read were "The Deliverance of Job." Like I said, I'm not one of those people, but I knew that the Lord had something powerful he wanted to say. 

I read "Job's Repentance" at the beginning of the chapter, but then I read this in the notes at the bottom of my Ryrie Study Bible:

"...If we know God, we do not need to know why He allows us to experience what we do. He is not only in control of the universe and all its facets but also our lives, and He loves us. Though His ways are sometimes beyond our comprehension, we should not criticize Him for his dealings with us or with others. God is always in control of all things, even when He appears not to be."

Thank you Jesus for this TRUTH. That you not only love and are caring for the people of Haiti, but you feel that same passionate love and desire for me.

Train Travel

One of the things I love about bigger cities like New York, Washington D.C., Sevilla, Spain, Mainz, Germany is the public transportation systems. I love them. I love staring out the window at the world zooming by outsize. I love knowing that there is so much outside of that car I should be dealing with, but I can't, because I am being taken away to someplace and there is nothing I can do but sit and wait.

Today, I rode Dallas' great public transportation system back to Ft. Worth. I took the DART from by my house to downtown Dallas, then got on the Trinity Railway Express to go the rest of the way to Ft. Worth. Now the DART is just a little metro, but the TRE is a real live train.

My great-grandfather was a train conductor 70 years ago. My grandmother always talks about how she would ride the train with "Mother" to visit my grandfather. I would have loved to have been with her on some of her trips.

My father is a pilot. I have always loved flying, especially flying on his flights overseas...first class.

Traveling is something that has been instilled in me, and I am grateful for that because it brings me much joy and anticipation.

Now, enjoy these pictures from my journey.

My view as I pulled away from Union Station in Dallas.

The view in front of me...please don't make fun of my feet.


Me, peacefully reading, listening to James Mark, and enjoying the world rushing by...and the cute/could-be-annoying-if-I-didn't-have-my-iPod-in kids next to me.

PaDebi

Well, it happened. I left Waco. I moved to Ft. Worth a week and a half ago for an internship. I now "work" at Gladney Center for Adoption. But I'm not talking about Gladney now, I'm talking about PaDebbie.

Translated that is Paul and Debi in 2 year old language. I met Paul and Debi about a year and a half ago at my mom and stepdad's rehersal dinner, and then again at the wedding. That was it. After the wedding Paul and Debi left my mind.

Then this past fall I decided to do my internship in Ft. Worth...meaning I would have to find somewhere to live. In Waco world, or maybe just Antioch world, poor students living with families for very little is fairley common, hello my life for the past 5 years. So, my mind immediatley went to looking for a family to let me live with them. Surley someone has family in Ft. Worth that doesn't mind having me live with them for 3 months. I mean I'm quiet, I don't eat much, I stay out of the way, I have the ability to clean up after myself (much to my roommates skepticism), I really wounldn't be much trouble...I sound like Mr. Jones.

Anyways, someone mentions Paul and Debi, and immediatley I knew that I was going to live with them and it would be wonderful. I never once had a doubt in my mind that this was not exactly what was supposed to happen. To this day, I still believe that.

Paul and Debi have been such an incredible blessing these past two weeks. Already I have learned to keep a room clean for a week and a half, that you can buy shrimp deveined (but I also learned how to devein a shrimp, if needbe), and that it is possible to go to bed before 10:00. But really so much more. I have learned how selflessly these two people are laying their lives down for other people, be it me, their son, their friends, or whoever they are with. They love extravagantly and have taken me in as one of their own.

In a time where I am so far from any of my homes, it is nice to still feel at home (and have someone cook dinner for me every night!) Thank you Jesus for PaDebi!

Mr. Jones and Me

Well, here he is. The Beloved Mr. Jones. I first met Mr. Jones outside of my old house. I was walking someone out to their car at night and when they turned on their lights, there he was just sitting by the curb...the cuttest little thing you have ever seen. I couldn't resist. He was such a little thing, so poor and defenseless, I couldn't help but pick him up and bring him up to the porch. (I will pause here to let you all know, incase you didn't already, that I have NOT always been a cat lover. I used to call all 7 of Whitney Shanhouse's (friend from high school) cats "Tito" because I didn't care enough about them to learn their real names...even now I can't tell you what they were.)

I couldn't just let the poor little thing go off wandering into the night, digging through trash cans for food! So, much to Tiffany's dismay, I gave the little kitten some milk...from her ceramic heart bowl. Yeah, that didn't last very long. The next day I caved and bought some cat food from the store. And from then on, he was my little Mr. Jones (well, he was Maia at first, but we had to change the name after he, um, matured a bit.)

Well, Mr. Jones has moved to a new home. It was time. As I have moved to Ft. Worth for this semester (more on this to come in later posts) I could not be responsible, or have others be responsible, for him anymore the way he deserved. He is in a good home, the best one he could posibly have. He has much more land to wander, pounce, and prance around in. He will like it there.

So, Godspeed, Mr. Jones. Be good for Lane and Amy. Don't be afraid of Kingsley (their great dane) and Ruby. Be a good hunter and take out those pesky squirrels for them. And most importantly, don't run away, you won't get fed that way! Love you Jonesy.